Do you really catch more flies with honey?

Testing a variety of pretty-coloured pest control substances.

Participants: L. Prism* and T. H. Morgan Cat, Institute of Pissing About.

Hypothesis: That you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Summary: This study really speaks for itself. Especially the conclusions:

An indication of the flies' social standing can perhaps be gleaned from their preference for balsamic over cider vinegar, and brandy over Malibu, although this result is only marginally significant (pooled posh v common, p=0.06, binomial test). It should also be noted that even vinegar drew considerably fewer visits than the bin, and furthermore, at no point did any fly get stuck and die. We conclude that culinary seasonings make an ineffective substitute for conventional insecticide treatment.